Non-Jews are for practice
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
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