I'm drive I can fine osifer
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
