WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
