you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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