I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
