you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
