Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize