Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
