By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
