I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
