sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
