just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
