We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
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