This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
