I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
These tits shall not be calmed
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
