what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
