im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
