I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
