I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
