I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
