My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Randomize
