just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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