im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
