So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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