Having a random hookup so left but love u
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
