Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
