based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
