What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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