I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
