He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize