i think i have herpe
just one?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
