Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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