I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
