Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
