dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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