my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Did I show you my penis last night?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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