That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
