i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Dick very happy bro
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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