I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
