why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
