I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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