do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
