Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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