So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
