I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
