I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize