i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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