Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
my sisters under your porch take her home
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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