Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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