The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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