You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
MIDGETS
????
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
