The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
The beer is more important than you right now.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
soo... how was my night?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
