..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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