Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
