??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
