he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
