You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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