I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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