i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
