Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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