my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
