i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
