quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
