4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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