My sheets look like a crime scene.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
They are going to name an STD after you.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
