Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
