I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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