i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize