He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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